Our School

A Message from the Principal

Dear Future TSLA Family,

If you’ve found your way to us, it means you’re seeking something different — something deeper, bolder, and more honest than what traditional institutions offer. At Texas Satanic Learning Academy, we believe education should challenge the powerful, comfort the marginalized, and spark unquenchable curiosity.

Thanks to Texas’s new Education Savings Account (ESA) program, your family can now use $10,000 in public funds to help cover private school tuition — and yes, that includes TSLA. We proudly accept ESA funds to support our mission of academic excellence, radical inclusion, and sacred mischief.

If your child is ready to learn in an environment that celebrates individuality, questions authority, and lights the way with knowledge (and candles), I encourage you to apply today.

Yours in knowledge and chaos,

P.Miller, Headmaster